friends

so i was thinking about that thing that friend of mine said the other day, about that guy i dated however long ago. "nice," he said. "but not enough for you." and i'm thinking, well... who is?? well ok, maybe that one from way back when, but then again we also sort of made each other a "little" (ahem) insane, and very, deeply sad for a long time - so i'm going to have to disqualify him.

so really though, what one person is "enough" for me? or for anyone, for that matter. i mean, i'm sure it's not a unique thing for me, but there are just so many mes to be satiated. really - given how many kaens there are on any given day, how could one person possibly assume the grandiose task of being enough for all of them? hell, i've long since abandoned the fantasy of being somebody else's "everything." it's unrealistic and unhealthy. not to mention slightly perverse and intensely megalomaniacal. shit - i'd need 3 lovers just to get through the week, and at least one more to keep up with me on the weekend!

that's what's so great about friends: you can have more than one. in fact, it's sort of encouraged. you really can have a friend for every mood: one for playing scrabble with, one for talking philosophy with, one for dreaming about running a theatre with, one to drink to stupid excess with (actually, there're kind of a lot of those!), and so on... and friends won't get jealous or upset if you're spending time with other friends. they won't pout or throw a tantrum if they catch you on the phone making plans with another friend.

and you can have so many kinds of people as friends! from old men to young girls, fetishists to special-needs teachers, animators to jazz musicians - they're all there for the taking. they can be as diverse as every facet of your wonderful self. back in van, my favouritest parties were the ones i'd throw that brought all my friends together - a room full of fascinating strangers engaged in animated conversations. it would thrill me beyond belief. and i must admit, i'm looking forward to having a big enough place and a large enough gathering of souls i call friends to get some of that action going on in toronto...

and what's more about friends is they can stick around long enough to really get to know you, without being afraid of "how close you're getting." and they can be reliable and there for you, without feeling pressured or constricted. and if you're really really lucky, they can even be fantastic in bed. in the last year, over two thirds of the sex i enjoyed (and pretty much all the good sex i enjoyed) was with friends - and i'll include exes in that, since they'd moved from the horrific "lover" domain to the lovelier "friend" category long before we actually stopped shagging. (actually, all of last year's exes became "friends-with-benefits." except this recent horror show, of course.)

so here's a great big cheer for all the people i'm happy and lucky enough to call friend. thanks for so fabulously and wonderfully pleasuring the many sides of kaen. : )